i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize