It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
