So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
