you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
