We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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