Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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