Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
