Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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