you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
