Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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