Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
