Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
