i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
