Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dick very happy bro
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
