im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
