My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
