my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
