i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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