420 ftw
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
