As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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