this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
