Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
vagina is talking i cant
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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