LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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