you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
