i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Found the puke drawer
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
