Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
