I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
