mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
