Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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