I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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