90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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