Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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