I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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