I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
