I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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