i just had sex bonerless
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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