So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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