Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
