His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
