What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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