Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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