just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
