Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
