her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
