That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
