Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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