New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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