its not stalking. its research.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
