I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
