The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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