Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
