I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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