ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
