is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
