Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
