I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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