kristin has been a bad kristin
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
