Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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