Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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