Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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