for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
