I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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