yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
