Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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