I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
