so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
