She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
