come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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