So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
