Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
