just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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