please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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