If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
