i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize