matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think your dad took our porno
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
