Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We left the knife in your bed.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
