dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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